Written by Andrew Mason
On Thu Oct 10
Read time 6 mins
Return of the Living Dad is a parenting blog by Musician, Web Developer, Designer, and Dad, Andrew Mason. It began from a need to record and communicate the pure, destruction waged on the core of my being from two small, difficult humans. It grew to be a platform for me to offer real, genuine perspective on parenting when it isn't glossy, isn't glamorous, and isn't anything like the internet says it is.
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Coloring Outside the Lines
I color in the library with my oldest after school. He loves it. I love it.
There’s the running in the doors, saying hey to the librarian guy we’ve become friends with, checking out what coloring sheets there are that day, if they’re good or crap, if we have to use our own or there’s a decent one, if it’s the markers or the pencil crayons, if there are seats at the single cafeteria style table or other punk kids are hogging all the spots. And then the getting to it.
I was a fledgling artist up to University. My Mum is a professional artist. I always liked art class. Took Fine Arts for the first two years of University. Felt like I weas creative, had some kind of talent, maybe could have done something with it. Which is only to say that I like the coloring. It’s fun.
Our after-school colorpalooza habit started a year ago. My oldest was in JK. There’s a public library attached to his school and ee discovered they put out coloring sheets and either crayons or markers or pencil crayons every day. Now we color for 15-30 minutes. Kids come and kids go. Parents come and parents go. And then we head off to do the rest of our afternoon.
But when it comes to the actual coloring, there’s been a persistent message I keep hearing around the table. It’s a whisper on the wind. A variation on four simple words, but deeply felt, from kids to parents. Held and believed. Partially feared. Partially encouraged.
Stay inside the lines.
And, don’t scribble.
Amazing how much of it you hear. Especially for a bunch of kids.
It’s spoken a lot of the time like a harsh adult-style judgement. Passed down by 4 and 5 year olds. More so the older the kids get. Deep and personal. Like it’s not just a style or choice thing. Coloring outside the lines is wrong. Scribbling is wrong. Just plain wrong. And bad. And shows poor taste. It’s almost a class thing. A condescension.
And now, in response to this, it’s become something I proudly do. I do it more maybe than I normally would. More than if no one said anything.
I scribble. And I color outside the lines.
And I might have taken it upon myself as a knee-jerk, or maybe as a way to rebel, to be a spokesman. A spokesman for scribbling.
And for coloring outside the lines.
It goes like this.
My son and I get our sheets and sit down. We get a feel for the pencil crayons, sess out which need sharpening (they ALWAYS need sharpening, and I might have bought a sharpeners of our own), and then we get to work. In part because of limited time and in part because I like to focus and in part because it’s fun and in part because it’s creative and in part because it’s good art and in part because it’s kind of become my style: I both scribble AND color outside the lines.
It lets me cover a big area quickly. Benefit one. It brings great energy having big wide lines spanning multiple directions. Benefit two. It reveals freedom and wild creativity and not being hampered by the contraints of society. It shuns the rules.
And most kids, and also most parents, or at least parents that watch or notice, don’t know how to handle it. It’s a bit like a car accident:
They just watch.
They look over at my sheet. Then up at my face. Then back down at my sheet. Then up at my face. Then back at their sheet. Then back at mine. Then at my face. Usually with some mix of totally blank, mouth agape, partially interested, partially hungry, partially unsure.
And I can see how they start to question their reality. Question their art and their life choices. Like, how is what that guy’s doing possible? How can he just DO that? Does he not CARE about the lines? About the rules? Or can he just not actually color inside the lines? Did he never learn? Does he not know how? Is it sad? Or is it genius? What the FUCK is he doing? What am I doing!? Should I be doing that? I don’t know. I don’t think so. I mean, I can’t. I mean, right? I mean, my teachers. Everything I’ve been taught. Everything I’ve been told.
At 5 years old.
Some kids ask straight out why I don’t stay in the lines. I had a friend’s daughter watch me color a sky in 4 seconds with giant fast strokes. I nodded my head and said, see, right!? Dropped the pencil like a mic on the table. And without a word she just lifted her hand, and gave me a thumbs down. A 4 year old. The balls. But it shows just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Even my son himself has gone from the wild, raw colorer he was last year as a Junior Kindergartener, to a more controlled colorer-inside-the-lines-er in Senior Kindergarten. In one year. Really just over this past summer. I didn’t really notice until one day I noticed. The mindset has taken hold.
And every kid says the same thing.
Stay inside the lines. And don’t scribble.
It’s a badge of honor. It’s a skill. It’s an internalized model. A mantra. It’s an “If you don’t do it, you’re wrong” situation.
I’ll never forget a parent from last year. Good guy. Saw him every day at drop off and pick up. He and his kid often colored in the library same as we did. He was a bit older than me, but an old school Dad.
This one day he gave his kid hard, adult-style criticism on how she held her pencil, and how she should stay inside the lines. It would cause problems later on if she didn’t, he said. It wasn’t about creativity. It wasn’t about breaking rules. It was about following rules. And it was a parenting tactic. Not just a fun thing to do after school. It was an approach to life being communicated, passed down.
And with all the tongue in cheek going on here, there’s a nugget of wisdom to be told.
Most of the parents and grandparents that I’ve seen actually color with their kids (it’s almost shocking how few do it alongside their kids. As you’d expect the majority are on their phones, chatting with other parents, on laptops, or this chestnut, reading a book to their child, aloud, in the library, as we all sit there also coloring. Like, you’re reading OUT LOUD bro! We hear you. Your kid is not listening. Why are reading out loud?) do it like you’d think: quiet, controlled, shading, 45 degree angles, inside the lines, zero scribbling, 100% worried about not making mistakes and having it be “good”.
I tell every kid, every parent I see now, that I’m a scribbler. And that I color outside the lines. Really more than telling them, I just do it. I make a show of it. I scribble so fast the pencil nearly lights afire from the friction. It’s fast and furious.
And as directive from my phenomenal son, though I still have to work on it, I have embraced using wild, varied colors on everything from excavators to dinosaurs. Daddy, why did you only use green on that T-rex? I wish you’d use more colors.
What a great thing to say. Be more colorful. Don’t just make it look like reality. Make it cool. Make it wild. Make it awesome. Make it different.
Back on earth, it’s obviously a skill for newly writing kids to be able to control their hands and coordination so as to write letters and words. Staying inside the lines shows control and skill. It’s stuff you have to do in school. It’s a genuine skill that needs to be developed. Despite no one actually writing anything anumore. And school, sigh, lasts a long time.
But it also shows conformity. It shows rules. It shows suppression. It shows a lack of lateral, creative, original thinking. You can scribble making art, go outside the lines, and still learn control working on letters. Both can be true. It’s not all or nothing.
There are actually multiple benefits to scribbling and coloring outside the lines:
- Speed and coverage
- Play
- Not caring, not trying
- Creativity
If I was a teacher I’d prioritize scribbling.
Make it messier. Make it wilder. Don’t just color inside the lines.
As my son would say, I wish you’d use more colors.
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Return of the Living Dad is a parenting blog by Musician, Web Developer, Designer, and Dad, Andrew Mason. It began from a need to record and communicate the pure, destruction waged on the core of my being from two small, difficult humans. It grew to be a platform for me to offer real, genuine perspective on parenting when it isn't glossy, isn't glamorous, and isn't anything like the internet says it is.
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