How to feed your kids (maybe I've been doing it all wrong)

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My kids eat some breakfast, usually a good lunch at school/daycare, and almost zero dinner.

They’ve both gone through periods of eating more, and also (even) less, and we’ve tried for years now to eat meals together at the kitchen table.

While timing may still be an issue (some say timing is everything), lately I’m rethinking the food challenge entirely.

It’s not just about what we feed them (which lately is a mystery beyond “plain pasta please”), or when, but how.

We’ve generally approached kid meals the way the internet says you’re supposed to: offer multiple elements, in small portions, with a (laughable but still earnest effort at) balance of veg, fruit, carbs, etc.

But the idea of presenting my kids a single plate, even with elements portioned and spaced out so they’re not crowded, hasn’t worked. The main-with-two-sides type thinking that every adult knows well, doesn’t cut it.

My youngest often looks at his dinner plate and says “Bleh” with his tongue hanging out. It’s a bit funny. But rude. And frustrating because he just won’t eat much at dinner. Regardless of food type or presentation.

As a caveat, my oldest finishes school at 2:40pm, then gets a good snack, but usually needs something else by 430-5. Which is why we try for an early-ish dinner time. My youngest gets a good snack at daycare just before 4pm, which alone might account for his low dinner appetite. But then both kids routinely get hungry around 630-7pm - right when we’re spooling up to go to bed.

As another caveat, both boys are relatively picky eaters. Even for pizza night, they each only eat one slice and maybe a little extra crust. One likes pepperoni, the other doesn’t. They both like plain spaghetti or bowtie pasta — plain like not even butter or oil for sauce. They only like one or two vegetables. And only sometimes. It’s a bit comical, alot frustrating, but also not uncommon.

We need a different approach.

So one lazy Saturday I decided I’d try using my oldest’s lunch bento box containers to make a snack-like lunch at home. While not an earth shattering innovation, it hadn’t occured to me to try.

I filled each compartment: goldfish, fruit, sliced veg, crackers, a few pepperonis, a couple fingers of PB&J sandwich, and a side snack container of popcorn or veggie straws.

It was magical.

They were interested.

And they ate.

It helped that we ate in front of the TV, but presenting it like a little snack-attack school-style lunch worked. It was exciting, accessible, colorful, and fun.

Maybe it was more familiar. Maybe it was more colorful. Maybe it was more manageable and less intimidating. Whatever the case, there was interest and excitement. Which alone was a victory.

There’s also plenty out there on compartment plates and how they support healthy eating. From more manageable portion sizes to increasing interest and reducing what can be an overwhelming prospect of too much food or too many items, this style of eating is not just for toddlers or lunchboxes.

While in our experiments the kids didn’t eat everything, they ate well. For sure more than a usual lunch at home. And for sure more than our usual table-bound attempts at full meals.

I’ve done this same thing now for a few weekends. I did it today for breakfast AND an early lunchtime snack. Both meals had good response. My worry they’re not eating and can’t possibly grow get replaced with relief. It’s funny how much you baseline worry as a parent. More than being happy my kids are eating, I’m relieved they’re eating.

Success notwithstanding, I still need to try it out with dinner. And more dinner-y foods. And at the dinner table.

We’re trying to limit/reduce TV after school and dinner, but even at the table the bento approach may (hopefully) work better than the full plate concept.

We’ll see.